The Trouble With Grandparents

Ah grandparents.........we need them, we love them, we cannot wait for them to be a big part our children's lives.  But it doesn't mean that the baby-parent-grandparent dynamic will be one without challenges!  Be prepared to hear 8 trillion times, "when you were little, I just......" etc. Let's explore some reasons for these challenges:

• Grandparents raised their children in a different time
• Grandparents often raised you or your partner (if applicable) in a far different way that you parent 
• They forget how challenging things were, some of our parents just straight up have amnesia or fib about how they had it all figured out.  News flash......they did not!
• Child care advice is VERY different today

So how do we navigate these tricky waters?  Largely by setting boundaries,  I know you are thinking, sure, it's just that easy, of course it's not, it's difficult, but sometimes it is necessary for your sanity.  I would suggest......

• Gently reminding grandparents that you need to learn for yourself
• ​That their advice is appreciated, but you need find your way  
  
• If you have a Postpartum Doula, have your Doula speak with them about current infant care practices,  they will often be more receptive to a neutral party
• Be firm about your expectations
• Address things quickly, set those boundaries early.  Speak with them during pregnancy about visitation frequency and their level of input
• Make it clear that you need their encouragement not criticism 
• Remember that they love you, and your new baby, they are learning to be grandparents, the same as you are learning to be parents, just make sure to keep those boundaries clear